If you want a sense of how "regular" moms struggle to raise children, including those with special needs, you must read this post from Afrodescendiente. Read the whole thing, but here's the gist:
"Has anyone come to my house to ask me about how I balance things? I have children, I work. My oldest child is autistic. My first husband and I divorced when my children were 5 and 3. The combination of youth and autism can be devastating to a marriage. Autism (or any disability) is no walk in the park.
"So at the age of 27, I was on my own with two children. I had no job, no money, and no car. It took me six months to get straight, then I went back to college. For the first year, I had no car of my own. For the first nine months, I had no daycare for the younger child....
"Finally, I got the younger one in daycare. I was so broke...I went without books the first month of classes. My children’s schools were on different schedules, so they didn't have the same breaks and holidays. I went to school sick many times because I couldn't miss any days. I was already missing too many trying to manage when the kids were on spring break, etc.
"Once, in a three-week school period, I had 12 meetings for IEPs and other Special Ed things. And, I was still a single mother struggling to finish school. When my courses were available only at night, I had a split schedule taking classs in the mornings and evenings, so I was only home with my children for an hour or so a day, they were alseep when I returned....
"And when I was poor, struggling, bedraggled, tired did anyone rush to my defense? Nah. Did they praise me for my valiant efforts to mix parenthood and a career? I dealt with the same stigma most of us single non-white mothers deal with....
"So you know, I’m trying my best to care about Sarah Palin. I am. But you know, she has a husband and money and her kid is disabled for sure, but only for seven or so months. When she has done it for 15 years, alone with no money, THEN I will praise her. But I’m feeling sort of selfish. Until I get my parade, I can't cheer in hers."
1 comment:
Thanks for reading. I rarely mention my son's autism. In fact, I have never mentioned it to my coworkers and I never mentioned it to fellow students or my professors when I was in college. I did not want to be given preferential treatment, or have anyone believe that I had been, based on being a parent of a child with extraordinary needs.
But I felt compelled to do so now. So many of us struggle silently, we have no help. We aren't seen as heroes, people do not understand why we aren't attending PTA meetings or why our other children always show up at school tired. (An autistic child who has little need for sleep can keep EVERYONE in the family sleep deprived.)
We do not have the option of taking our children with us to work and nursing them during the day.
So I am a bit resentful. And maybe since the spotlight is on us, I can shed some light on life for the average parent of a disabled child and the challenges we face.
Thanks for reading. And for your blog!! Keep up the good work.
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